And, just as a minor disclaimer, I don't care if you think the songs are brilliant, this is, more or less, my opinion and I'm mostly just being deliberately a knob.
1. Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)
Okay, I'm aware she's going for this whole "I don't need no man!" thing or something, I just happen to think that that's stupid. For one thing, not everyone wants to get married. But the main thing is, commitment is not something exclusive to marriage, it goes for any relationship. Just because he hasn't proposed to you doesn't give you the right to go off and find some other guy.
Now, admittedly, the song's lyrics aren't exactly clear who left who, but the way its worded implies that she it was her. Pro-tip: 3 years of a relationship generally implies commitment and just because someone hasn't proposed yet doesn't mean that you should leave them. They could very well have perfectly legitimate reasons why they haven't yet. Like, you're a crazy woman who demands marriage or breaking up.
2. Brooke Fraser - Something in the Water
Okay, I admit, this song is me deliberately being obtuse and misinterpreting it. Also, if you're not from New Zealand, you probably don't know this song. Which is kinda funny because YouTube won't let me watch a song from a New Zealand artist based on copyright grounds on my country.
But back to the actual song:
There's something in the water that makes me love you like I do
On the one hand, the song is about someone who's deeply in love with someone and isn't sure why. On the other hand, someone's added something to the water, and this is actually a song about someone's who's been heavily drugged. Personally, I prefer the latter explanation. Because it's funnier.
3. Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi
Firstly, what kind of a song has text speak in the title. Argh.
But again, back to the actual lyrics. I think the intention is to be aa song about how you shouldn't judge people based on them being "sk8er bois". I actually listened to the lyrics the other day and it comes across to me as a song about a guy who gets rejected by some girl, refuses to get over it, becomes famous, then writes a song to be like "Hah! If you were with me, you could be with someone famous!"
There's three main problems with the message behind this song.
Firstly, if the girl was willing to reject you because you're a "sk8er boi", she's probably a bit of a cow and you don't want to be with her anyway.
Secondly, get over it. The fact that you're willing to write a song about it implies you have deep-seated issues and probably don't make good relationship material.
Thirdly, someone being famous is not good criteria for a relationship. If that girl's all like "Ooh I wish I'd boned that guy, he's famous now!", she's a bit of a slut and you probably don't want to be with her.
4. Ronan Keating - Life is a Rollercoaster
Okay, maybe I just think Ronan Keating is a bit of a knob.
On the one hand, this is a song about a guy who really likes a girl and she's playing hard to get or something.
On the other hand, it's pretty creepy and stalker-ish. Look at these lyrics:
Wherever you go tell me 'cause I'm gonna go
I need you, so stop hiding
So don't fight it,
How is that not creepy? No means no, Mr Keating.
5. Backstreet Boys - As Long As You Love Me
Okay, I admit it, I really really hate this song. I'm not sure if the music just really gets to me with how overly ridiculously sappy it is, but I think it's mostly the fact that the song is so damn desperate and pathetic.
I think that the song is supposed to be about how he met some girl and all he wants is her love (Or they, since it's five guys singing the song) but that's really not what it's actually about:
I don't care who you are
Where you're from
What you did
As long as you love me
The song is literally saying, he doesn't care who the girl is, as long as she loves him, he'll love her back. He's so desperate for love, he'll literally go with a convict that he really doesn't know at all, as long as they love him.
That's not a good way to meet people, and you might have better luck if you don't come across as being so sad and desperate.
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